Dating on Apps, and the Old-Fashioned Way
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Credit…Alex Gamsu Jenkins
To the Editor:
Re “It’s Not You: Dating Apps Are Getting Worse,” by Magdalene J. Taylor (Opinion guest essay, nytimes.com, March 16):
With more people on online dating platforms than ever, we have entered a new era rife with hot takes and opinions based on a narrow set of experiences. Recent surveys say that dating apps are the No. 1 way people meet today, and nearly 70 percent of individuals who met someone on a dating app said it led to a romantic, exclusive relationship.
I am not here to question individual experiences, or pretend that every date will lead to success. Matching two people is an imperfect science and rests on shared interests, complex personalities, timing and more. It’s an age-old axiom for a reason: You have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince or princess.
But lately, we’ve been building to an environment where critiques of apps are presented as a monolith and pessimism over a bad date is taken to signal the end to a generation’s romantic future. There’s this false notion suggesting that dating apps don’t work. The numbers tell us that broadly speaking and for more people than ever: They work.
Bernard Kim
Los Angeles
The writer is chief executive officer of Match Group.
To the Editor:
Re “With Lackluster Growth, Dating Apps Are in Need of a Spark” (front page, March 13):
There was a time when finding a partner was an adventure that played out in public spaces: the park while walking your dog, the bar while calming down from a hectic week, the art class that opened you up to new experiences and people.
Now apps let you sit on your sofa in your slippers and shop, viewing only what the app reveals. Are they kind? Would their smile make you look twice?
We used to live somewhere, interact with people we found there who had our approach to life — and would actually move if we found no synergy (why live somewhere that is like that?). These were all actions that led to personal connections.
